


the guy who didn't like musicals (attempted lemony snicket style)

by sheriffsunshine



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 01:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheriffsunshine/pseuds/sheriffsunshine
Summary: If you are looking for a story rife with happiness and living, I recommend that you keep looking.





	the guy who didn't like musicals (attempted lemony snicket style)

**Author's Note:**

> this is so fucking short but!!! i wanted somewhere to put this and didn't want to keep it on google docs

If you are looking for a happy tale with a happy ending and a plethora-the word "plethora" meaning "an excessive amount"-of happy things in the middle, you have come across the wrong tale. You can imagine that the conclusion of this story is a more positive one. You can even imagine the tragedy of Hachetfield never happened. But, if you are still reading this story, you have been warned.  
      Paul Matthews was an extremely average man who was blessed with equally average facial features. Those who are average, their life is never profuse with misfortune unless you count spilling coffee on your favorite dress pants or not getting reports on your boss's desk in time. But, in Paul's case, he was not auspicious enough to live an average life.  
       It started with a trip to back from a coffee shop, Beanies, with terrible coffee where workers spit in customer's drinks. Paul was often questioned by other co-workers why he went a block down for coffee when he could go across the street to a Starbucks, a greater and a much more modern coffee chain.  
He always replied extremely nervously, "I don't  want to give my money to a corporate chain." Paul was a very bad liar. He simply went there for what, or whom, his co-worker Ted dubbed the "latte-hottay."  
   The "latte-hottay" was who co-worker Ted thought was Zoe, a young woman who had just left college with extremely attractive facial features who majored in theatre and was the manager of Beanies; however, Paul thought the "latte-hottay" was another woman. He had assumed she was Emma Perkins, a woman around ten years older than Zoe and had slightly less attractive features than her. She was extremely rude to customers who were rude to her and refused to sing when patrons tipped her in the "Tip-for-a-Song!" jar, which gave her a remarkably negative reputation. She berated all the workers, all of whom were Zoe's theatre friends, for singing out of nowhere. One of the only coffee-goers whom she enjoyed was Paul, simply because he ordered, did not tip anyone(and if he did, he only gave it to Emma), and left with no hassle.


End file.
